Point, Counter Point, What's the Point?

Flying on the wings of bordem, our two heroes (JoeBags and Hibby), cutting through the jungle brush of apathy, using wit, charm, and at least seven other character attributes neither of us have as we discuss and argue all things we care about, soccer, politics, football, history, baseball, philosophy, basketball, world events, and whatever else tickles our fancies, no need to write this blog, no need to read it either, but in case you do...enjoy.

The Contender/Pretender Euro’s edition


Group A:

Greece= Pretender. Though the Greeks shocked the world in 2004 with their Euro title and their bunkering style may frustrate many opponents, I just don’t see lightning striking twice here.

Russia= Pretender. I soo badly want to say contender but when you are reliant on Andrei Arsharvin as your captain and offensive sparkplug I will choose to pass. They do have a tremendously stout defense working for them and defense can take you far, but need to see more quality attacking play out of this bunch first.

Czech Republic= Contender. Call me crazy but I’m always willing to ride the gloves of a hot goalkeeper in an international tournament. Petr Cech is coming off arguably his best run of form during Chelsea’s Champions League run but he will need help from his attack, mainly coming in the form of Tomas Rosicky.

Poland= Contender. I give this team a contender nod solely for being a home soil team because sometimes nothing can match the motivation of playing on home turf. They have a trio of talented Borussia Dortmund players and Arsenal keeper Szceszney.

Group B:

Netherlands= Contender. The Dutchmen will be one of the tourney favorites though it will be interesting to see how they fare in pressure situations, looking at you Arjen Robben.

Germany= Contender. Arguably the favorite to win it all, this German team is loaded with attacking talent led by Mario Gomez, Thomas Mueller, and Mesut Ozil though the question for them will be whether the back line can solidify itself and exhibit fine form. I believe with captain Philip Lahm still patrolling back there the Germans will be just fine.

Denmark= Pretender. In any other group I might consider the Danes a contender to move on, but in this Group of Death they should be happy if they don’t finish last.

Portugal= Pretender. They have some nice pieces but same consideration of Denmark applies to them; if they were in any other group I can see them advancing. My main qualm is wondering where the attack will come from besides Cristiano Ronaldo.

Group C:

Spain= Contender. It is Spain. Enough said.

Italy= Contender. Some will write off the Azzuri due to the tremendously controversial match-fixing scandal (again???? Come on guys) currently going on, but the national team responded well to domestic trouble the last time this occurred (i.e. 2006 World Cup champions). I don’t see them making a deep run in this tournament but nothing would surprise me at this point.

Ireland= Pretender. I badly want to cheer on my Irishmen past the group stage but realistically they will need a St. Patrick style miracle.

Croatia= Pretender. This is a strong attacking team behind Luka Modric and Nikica Jelavic but I question their backline and therefore also their ability to leapfrog either Spain or Italy.

Group D:

England= Contender…..but only to get past the group stage. This team is no real threat at this year’s tournament and don’t let anyone fool you. They are missing a slew of key players due to injuries (Cahill, Barry, Lampard…..) and the already questionable call-ups of new manager Roy Hodgson do little to inspire hope. Let’s also not forget the fact that they will have to rely on Andy Carroll as their striker for atleast the length of Wayne Rooney’s suspension. Yikes….

France= Contender. I am quite high on the Les Bleus and consider them a dark horse to make a deep run. The memories of the 2010 World Cup fiasco are being put in the rearview mirror under manager Laurent Blanc and this is still one of the supremely talented squads in Europe.

Ukraine= Pretender. Congrats on co-hosting, be lucky to grab a point.

Sweden= Pretender. I can possibly see them moving past England, but Zlatan Ibrahimovic will need a strong tournament……..and some supporting help.

Favorite= Spain. They are defending Euro and World Cup champions. King of the Hill until knocked off.

Dark Horse= France. Team is slowly coming together under Manager Blanc and is terrifyingly talented at times.

Team to watch= England. I only say this because it will be entertaining when they bow out of the competition and the reaction from the fans.

Player to Watch= Robin Van Persie. The Dutchman enjoyed a season of terrific form for Arsenal but his play will be key if Holland has any chance to unseat Spain or Germany.

Sentimental Favorite= The Irish. A decade since their last major tournament and coming off the heels of the Henry handball debacle that ended their last run at a major tournament it would be awesome to see an Irish upset of Spain or Italy. One can dream right????

Joebags Signing Off.

Any American sports fan will no doubt be aware of the antics of Metta World Peace, formerly Ron Artest. Whether it be his violent actions on the court (punching fans while a Pacer or viciously elbowing James Harden) or his questionable off the court decisions (launching his own record label, calling his coach a fatass, or driving a go-kart around the streets of LA), American sports fan are aware that he might not be all there. I’ve heard many of friends call him the “Craziest athlete” they have ever seen. I have no argument that Artest is missing some key parts in his head, but before he is crowned the “Craziest Athlete” I would like to put forth a nomination that not many Americans might have seen. Let me introduce you to Mario Balotelli. Mr. Balotelli is a 21 year old Italian striker for EPL club Manchester City. Balotelli is known as an immensely talented player, but one with a penchant for questionable actions and despicable decisions. He is no angel while plying his trade on the pitch: July 2011 – Attempting (and missing) a illustrious backheel during a friendly When Man City travelled to play LA Galaxy in July, our boy Mario once again made the headlines when he turned around whilst in front of goal, and nonchalantly attempted a back heel that went wide. Balotelli was labelled as disrespectful by American TV commentators and fans as Mancini was left fuming at the Italian’s actions – but let’s face it, it was a nothing match… October 2011 – Why Always Me? During Man City’s amazing 6-1 thrasing of Man Utd, and two nights after the Firework incident, marvellous Mario revealed his base layer shirt with the phrase ‘Why Always Me?’ printed on. Whether it’s a dig at the press, or a cry for help at why he does the things reported in the press, it’s unclear. He was red carded FOUR times this past season for on field transgressions and suspended for a total of 13 games. His off the field antics are bizarre and unbelievable at times. Let’s run down a short list of his greatest hits: November 2010 – Driving into a women’s prison Whilst the injured Balotelli was driving around Brescia with his 17 year old brother in November 2010, they were so curious about seeing a women’s prison, that they decided to have a look inside. Unfortunately for the brothers, they were stopped and interrogated for half an hour by jail officers, and were never allowed to have the tour they were so excited about. March 2011 – Throwing Darts at Man City academy players Citing boredom as the main reason, Mario was caught throwing darts at youth team players through a first floor window at Man City’s training ground. Luckily no-one was hurt, but Mario received a hefty fine for his actions. October 2011 – Sent out to get essential items, returning with a trampoline, Scalextric, 2 Vespas & a table tennis set. When Mario’s mum arrived in Manchester to help him sort out his life, she sent him to John Lewis with a shopping list containing items including an ironing board, an iron etc. 5 hours later, Mario returned empty handed, but minutes later a lorry arrived with the items a 10 year old child could only dream of. I can only imagine his house is yet to be graced by anything on his mum’s shopping list, who needs an iron when you can trampoline your clothes October 2011 – Setting fireworks off in his bathroom Two nights before the big Manchester Derby, Mario and four friends decided to have a bit of fun and play around with some fireworks around his house…!?!? Mario claimed it was a friend who set one off in his bathroom, and that he was very angry at his friend for doing so. Racking up £10,000 in parking tickets, having his Maserati impounded 27 times Crashing his lambourghini with £25,000 on the seat, replying ‘Because I can’ when asked why Amazingly, since the ordeal, Mario was chosen to front the City of Manchester’s firework safety campaign. Let’s hope he takes some notice of what they say… Balotelli’s off-field antics exhibit a common trend of poor decision making, ignorance, and a complete lack of wisdom that even Ron Artest would be shaking his head at. Balotelli lives a life that is a mixture of ingredients in a ticking time bomb of destruction and controversy. As a very young footballer he was signed to enormous contracts and presented with the gift, or curse depending on how you look at it, of an almost endless money supply. Pair this flow of money with the troubled mind of a teenager, in a foreign land, playing a very popular sport and you have the recipe for disaster.

Any American sports fan will no doubt be aware of the antics of Metta World Peace, formerly Ron Artest. Whether it be his violent actions on the court (punching fans while a Pacer or viciously elbowing James Harden) or his questionable off the court decisions (launching his own record label, calling his coach a fatass, or driving a go-kart around the streets of LA), American sports fan are aware that he might not be all there. I’ve heard many of friends call him the “Craziest athlete” they have ever seen. I have no argument that Artest is missing some key parts in his head, but before he is crowned the “Craziest Athlete” I would like to put forth a nomination that not many Americans might have seen. Let me introduce you to Mario Balotelli.

Mr. Balotelli is a 21 year old Italian striker for EPL club Manchester City. Balotelli is known as an immensely talented player, but one with a penchant for questionable actions and despicable decisions. He is no angel while plying his trade on the pitch:

July 2011 – Attempting (and missing) a illustrious backheel during a friendly

When Man City travelled to play LA Galaxy in July, our boy Mario once again made the headlines when he turned around whilst in front of goal, and nonchalantly attempted a back heel that went wide.

Balotelli was labelled as disrespectful by American TV commentators and fans as Mancini was left fuming at the Italian’s actions – but let’s face it, it was a nothing match…

October 2011 – Why Always Me?

During Man City’s amazing 6-1 thrasing of Man Utd, and two nights after the Firework incident, marvellous Mario revealed his base layer shirt with the phrase ‘Why Always Me?’ printed on. Whether it’s a dig at the press, or a cry for help at why he does the things reported in the press, it’s unclear.

He was red carded FOUR times this past season for on field transgressions and suspended for a total of 13 games.

His off the field antics are bizarre and unbelievable at times. Let’s run down a short list of his greatest hits:

November 2010 – Driving into a women’s prison

Whilst the injured Balotelli was driving around Brescia with his 17 year old brother in November 2010, they were so curious about seeing a women’s prison, that they decided to have a look inside. Unfortunately for the brothers, they were stopped and interrogated for half an hour by jail officers, and were never allowed to have the tour they were so excited about.

March 2011 – Throwing Darts at Man City academy players

Citing boredom as the main reason, Mario was caught throwing darts at youth team players through a first floor window at Man City’s training ground. Luckily no-one was hurt, but Mario received a hefty fine for his actions.

October 2011 – Sent out to get essential items, returning with a trampoline, Scalextric, 2 Vespas & a table tennis set.

When Mario’s mum arrived in Manchester to help him sort out his life, she sent him to John Lewis with a shopping list containing items including an ironing board, an iron etc. 5 hours later, Mario returned empty handed, but minutes later a lorry arrived with the items a 10 year old child could only dream of. I can only imagine his house is yet to be graced by anything on his mum’s shopping list, who needs an iron when you can trampoline your clothes

October 2011 – Setting fireworks off in his bathroom

Two nights before the big Manchester Derby, Mario and four friends decided to have a bit of fun and play around with some fireworks around his house…!?!? Mario claimed it was a friend who set one off in his bathroom, and that he was very angry at his friend for doing so.

Racking up £10,000 in parking tickets, having his Maserati impounded 27 times

Crashing his lambourghini with £25,000 on the seat, replying ‘Because I can’ when asked why

Amazingly, since the ordeal, Mario was chosen to front the City of Manchester’s firework safety campaign. Let’s hope he takes some notice of what they say…

Balotelli’s off-field antics exhibit a common trend of poor decision making, ignorance, and a complete lack of wisdom that even Ron Artest would be shaking his head at. Balotelli lives a life that is a mixture of ingredients in a ticking time bomb of destruction and controversy. As a very young footballer he was signed to enormous contracts and presented with the gift, or curse depending on how you look at it, of an almost endless money supply. Pair this flow of money with the troubled mind of a teenager, in a foreign land, playing a very popular sport and you have the recipe for disaster.

Making the daily rounds on my news websites today I came across a curious article where the UN was honoring Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe as a “UN Leader on terrorism.” Now I originally thought this meant the UN was taking a tough stance on Mugabe’s history as a leader, but as I read on it became apparent that the UN was instead honoring Mugabe for his pacification efforts in Zimbabwe and their terrorism commission chose to honor him for it. I could not wrap my mind around the fact that the UN and their terrorism commission was honoring Robert Mugabe for his “terroristic efforts.” Mugabe, the same man who seized power of Zimbabwe in the 1980’s and went on to launch an ethnic cleansing campaign. The same man who has ruthlessly held power through corruption, rigged elections, and tremendous inflation. The UN ignored all of this and instead is “honoring” Mugabe as a “voice against terrorism” in the world. This is not the first nor the last time I have looked at the UN with a quizzical eye. There was the instance where they accepted Palestine into UNESCO, an organization within the UN, while still allowing their charter to be denied. There is the ongoing Syrian debacle where UN “observers” have sat in the country for months while no formal decision has been made; and meanwhile Syrian civilians continue to be attacked and murdered. There was the North Korean debacle where for years Kim Jong-Il acted without regard and the worst punishment ever received from the UN was warnings and economic sanctions. The UN has gotten some things right, but those instances are few and far between. It is time the UN is recognized for what it really is, a global country club that holds no real power. It is a body of diplomats that has digressed into a convention of the weak-willed and indecisive. It wraps itself up in hypocritical decisions and statements such as preaching for political freedom and self-sovereignty but denying the people of Palestine a membership. It honors Robert Mugabe while conveniently sweeping his dark past underneath the rug. The UN continues to skate by on the most miniscule examples of a peacekeeping body, but how long until it is finally called out on its flaws? Joebags out

Making the daily rounds on my news websites today I came across a curious article where the UN was honoring Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe as a “UN Leader on terrorism.” Now I originally thought this meant the UN was taking a tough stance on Mugabe’s history as a leader, but as I read on it became apparent that the UN was instead honoring Mugabe for his pacification efforts in Zimbabwe and their terrorism commission chose to honor him for it. I could not wrap my mind around the fact that the UN and their terrorism commission was honoring Robert Mugabe for his “terroristic efforts.” Mugabe, the same man who seized power of Zimbabwe in the 1980’s and went on to launch an ethnic cleansing campaign. The same man who has ruthlessly held power through corruption, rigged elections, and tremendous inflation. The UN ignored all of this and instead is “honoring” Mugabe as a “voice against terrorism” in the world.

This is not the first nor the last time I have looked at the UN with a quizzical eye. There was the instance where they accepted Palestine into UNESCO, an organization within the UN, while still allowing their charter to be denied. There is the ongoing Syrian debacle where UN “observers” have sat in the country for months while no formal decision has been made; and meanwhile Syrian civilians continue to be attacked and murdered. There was the North Korean debacle where for years Kim Jong-Il acted without regard and the worst punishment ever received from the UN was warnings and economic sanctions.

The UN has gotten some things right, but those instances are few and far between. It is time the UN is recognized for what it really is, a global country club that holds no real power. It is a body of diplomats that has digressed into a convention of the weak-willed and indecisive. It wraps itself up in hypocritical decisions and statements such as preaching for political freedom and self-sovereignty but denying the people of Palestine a membership. It honors Robert Mugabe while conveniently sweeping his dark past underneath the rug. The UN continues to skate by on the most miniscule examples of a peacekeeping body, but how long until it is finally called out on its flaws? Joebags out

Let the Transfer Saga’s Begin

The majority of European domestic leagues are now concluded and that signals the coming of one of the most entertaining and controversial events in professional soccer, the Summer Transfer Window. This summer window is sure to be filled with many controversial stories and drawn out transfer saga’s. Let’s take a quick look at the key players to keep an eye on:

1. Eden Hazard (Lille)= The Belgian winger is arguably the most sought after player on the market as reportedly both Manchester clubs and Chelsea are after his signature, but with a 30 million plus price tag accompanying it. The winger is much sought after for scoring 20 goals this season and being Ligue 1 player of the year. He is dead set on leaving the French club Lille and has reportedly announced on his twitter that he will be signing with the Champions League winners (Chelsea), though nothing is finalized yet.

2. Robin Van Persie (Arsenal)= The Dutchman had his greatest season yet for Arsenal, winning the Golden Boot in the EPL, but with that increase in form also came an increase in wage demand. Arsenal is desperate to keep their captain, as at times he was the lifeline of the offense, but with Manchester City and Real Madrid also in pursuit it will be tough for the Gooners to outbid them on weekly wage demands (arguably already above the 200,000 per week range).

3. Hulk (FC Porto)= The Brazilian winger has held the eye of Chelsea for some time now but it is a point of debate whether or not Roman Abromavich is willing to pull the trigger on the reported 80 million release clause on his contract.

4. Luka Modric (Tottenham)= The Croatian midfielder conducted arguably the most controversial and drawn out transfer saga of the last two windows with whether or not he would leave Tottenham for Chelsea and the protracted negotiations that saw over 40 million being proposed for his signature. He is reportedly back on the market this summer and could lead a mass exodus of talent away from White Hart Lane. Chelsea are presumably still in the hunt but reports are surfacing that Real Madrid are also competing for his signature.

5. Neymar (Santos)= The Brazilian starlet has caught the eye of pretty much every power club in the world and it seems he has been linked with almost every heavy hitter in world soccer. It appears the striker may stay with Santos for the time being though there may be a bidding war between Barcelona and Real Madrid for his signature.

6. Clint Dempsey (Fulham)= The American midfielder is coming off a terrific season for Fulham that saw him net 15 goals and has now reportedly hit the radars of Premier League powers like Liverpool and Arsenal. While it is a debatable point how a move to a power club would turnout it is more likely he may be making a horizontal move for more wages to a club like Everton.

7. The Managerial Openings= The EPL is rampant with openings right now and there is a whirlwind of rumors about possible connections. Outcasted former Chelsea man Andre Villas-Boas is reportedly in talks with Liverpool, but so is Roberto Martinez (Wigan head man) who is also in talks with Aston Villa. Chelsea have yet to make a decision on caretaker manager Roberto Di Matteo and his lack of a contract has interested Aston Villa. It will surely be an interesting couple of months as the managerial voids shake themselves out.

Be Thankful on this Memorial Day, even you Hypocrites

As we celebrate another Memorial Day with barbecues, trips to the lake, and enjoying our days off work; it is always wise to sit back and honor the meaning of this day. This day was not created so you could praise the three day weekend, but instead to honor the tremendous sacrifice of our soldiers. I will not try to bore you with an anthology on the heroics of our fine fighting men and women and why we should honor them more than just one day a year. Today though I was reminded of a certain hypocrisy that arises in this great country of ours. This hypocrisy deals with free speech and the brave men and women who fight for it.

Scrolling through my twitter feed today, I found a story out of Oklahoma City where apparently a flag was burned in a Senator’s front yard last night. The perpetrators were not caught and it is unclear whether they were trying to send a message or just committing a prank. Either way it was a despicable act and a cruelly misjudged prank if it turns out to be that. This story put a melancholy spin on the beginning of my Memorial Day and got me to thinking about other events/incidents like these that seem to undermine and demean the efforts of our soldiers.

This story is just one of many of how Americans interpret, and abuse depending on how you look at it, their freedom of speech. The desecration of an American flag is not illegal on the federal basis as of yet and is still at times considered to be an expression of political views. Don’t get me wrong, I am a staunch defender of the Constitution and her Bill of Rights, almost bordering on the line of Libertarian at times, but I have my limits and this type of thing crosses it. Some people have told me “It is just a flag, why does it bother you so much? It is not like they are burning the things it stands for.” While this statement is true it still irks/angers me to no end when I read about something like this. It stirs up feelings in me towards the generations of men who have fought to protect and sustain that flag harking back to the days of the Revolutionary War and I just can’t sit there while some jackass burns a piece of our country that my family has taken part to protect.

Flag burners and their exhibition of free speech and political views are just one small microcosm of what I like to call the “hypocrisy of rights.” I use this term to describe blatant violations of American honor and pride that are protected in our modern politically correct world by pretentious wordsmiths. These are people who weasel their ways through the loopholes of our laws and hide behind freedom of expression/speech. The Bill of Rights and the Constitution is one of the greatest man-made documents on this Earth, yet it provides openings for these sick bastards to preach their views.

The biggest and most insane example of this hypocrisy is the Westboro Baptist Church, a small non-denominational group in Kansas. Their “beliefs” have inspired them to protest the funerals of American soldiers because they believe that God is killing soldiers because the United States allows homosexuality. Their rallying cries include “Thank God for dead soldiers, 9/11, and IED’s”, “God hates Fags”, and “God Hates America.” These people mercilessly attack the emotions of grieving families by proclaiming that they are happy their child died and that they died because God hates America.

These people downright sicken me and a fire grows inside my chest whenever I come across an article or video where they spew their hate. But once again these people are legally allowed to do this as long as they are not on funeral home/cemetery property and have acquired the permission of the land owners where they wish to protest or in most cases use vacant land. This form of protesting is considered free speech and their right to assemble yet Americans like me must sit there helpless and watch as these hatemongers spread their word through sorrow and grief.

I personally have come into contact with one of these heinous situations through a social media website. It was on YouTube that I was searching for a video and came across a tribute to the troops. In the comments section I noticed a raging debate between one individual and what seemed like the rest of the commentators. This one individual used the platform of YouTube to describe their hate for soldiers and the war, even going so far as to tell the mother of a soldier that she wishes for her son to be killed by Al Qaeda and turned into opium fertilizer. This “keyboard badass” also referred to soldiers as “dumb as shit marines/soldiers” and proclaimed any member of the armed forces to be a homicidal, oil-crazed, psychopathic maniac. I spent a few days bantering back and forth with her only to find that she was unwilling to budge from her position of hate and was only looking to get a stir out of people.

It is in examination of these examples that I find the “hypocrisy of rights” I described earlier. These people enjoy the right to say/do almost anything they want under freedom of expression/speech, but they chose to spew hate towards the soldiers. It is this duel hypocrisy that arises where the people abuse the rights provided to them but then use those rights to abuse the people who protect them. Let’s be honest here, I am not even going to ponder the thought of limiting/restricting the Bill of Rights and freedom of speech to deter these hatemongers. The freedom of speech/expression is one of the greatest freedoms this country can offer and I am not going to advocate for it to be restricted because some people use it improperly. Instead I want to urge and motivate anyone else who is offended and sickened by events and people like this to step up and voice your opposition when you see this kind of thing. Silence is paramount to tacit consent on this occasion and our proud soldiers do not fight so you can sit quiet on the sidelines as they are disrespected. On this Memorial Day in 2012, let’s once again honor our fallen and current heroes by coming to their aid/defense after the many times they have come to ours. God Bless our fighting men and women!

A word of warning for our youth

As a recent college graduate I reflect upon my 4 years with gratitude and regret. I recall fondly times of tremendous success, of staying up all night laughing and carrying on with great friends. I also recall times of heartbreak and sorrow, of staying up all night crying and trying to figure out why things turned out the way they did. I could compose an anthology of all the lessons I learned throughout my undergraduate years, but there is one lesson above all I wish to expound to the next generation of college students. I want future students to have a plan when they go to college, an idea of why they are going and what they want to do.

Now this is impossible to achieve for everyone. I know there is always a fair number of freshman who enter their first year aimless with no clue of what they want to do with their lives, just attending college in a status quo kind of way. This can all be avoided by forcing some soul searching. I want to emphasize this point because I was one of those freshmen. I always wanted to be a meteorologist growing up but just graduated with a History and Political Science degree. How did that come to be?

I never gave any serious thought to my decision on where to attend college. I had no clue what I wanted to major in, with meteorology being out of the question with no college in state offering it. I chose Bellarmine over Louisville and Morehead State because Bellarmine offered a similar atmosphere to my high school (small class sizes and small campus) but also mainly because I wanted to bowl (don’t judge me, I said I made mistakes). I turned down a full ride from Morehead to attend Bellarmine and that is where the trouble began.

With no clue of how I was going to use college to positively affect my future, I tried out as many majors as a teenage girl does prom dresses. Let’s see, there was economics and psychology my first semester (thoughts of either working as a stock broker or a psychologist for teenagers), then Biology (thoughts of pre-med), then History and English (but english was too boring for me). I decided on history because I loved studying it and had a great professor who sparked my passion in both of my introductory classes.

So at the third semester deadline I became a History and Political Science major, hoping to maybe go back and teach history at my high school. That was until I was informed by some teachers at my school that an education degree was also required along with your area of study. Well it was too late to start up an education degree and still graduate in approximately 5 years at best. I was devastated and once again lost. Next I pointed my sights at teaching at the university level, which would require graduate degrees. I began courting graduate schools, but had to take a required graduate exam, known as the GRE, in order to apply. Never gave myself enough time to study for it, scored in the average range, and still searching for graduate funding. After further inquiries it turned out that university teaching was a dead end pursuit with a flooded job market. So now I turned my attention to political science graduate pursuits and I found a terrifically interesting field in public policy (theory that includes how to run campaigns and domestic issues as well as practice where you can assist on public projects). Late to the game though and with average exam scores am receiving no funding.

The moral of this story is that you can turn out to be an honors graduate with a very high GPA and still be lost. I never gave serious thought to my future, instead just expecting an ideal situation to pop up. I never pushed myself to pick a path or seriously consider what my future could hold. Instead I chose to study what I loved and left college with no career path and no real ambitions. If you are reading this and about to enter college, please do yourself a favor and sit down and truly decide what you love and how you can incorporate it into your future. Don’t be passive like me, instead do some research and find a field that will interest and motivate you. I may not know where my future will be or what it holds, but if I can help one young person to not make the same mistake I can consider myself happy. Joebags signing off.

The Technological Hermit

Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong generation. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the many advancements in modern technology and cannot imagine life without some of them. I just have refused to buy into technological synergy and I cannot really give you an explanation as to why. For those unclear, synergy is the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements, contributions, etc. In lament’s terms it means that none of my technological devices or aids work together.

To describe the state of technological hermitude, I own a cell phone, iPod, Laptop, PS3, and DVD player. As you can tell I still participate in the mass consumption of technology, I just haven’t bought into the “little black box” theory. The “little black box” theory is one that discusses how sometime in the future all of our technological needs will be controlled/provided by a single technological device. This box will provide TV, internet, game playing, movie playback, and whatever else technological need comes to mind. Some say we have already arrived at that point when there are devices like the PS3/Xbox 360 that play video games, play DVD’s, allow for TV, and allow you to surf the internet. There is also the smartphone and its many variances that can allow the user to have all the necessities of a phone with the added pleasures of music playback, internet capabilities, and millions of “apps” that turns the users phone into a practical swiss-army knife.

For some reason I have never bought into this synergy of technology. My cell phone can call, text people, has a working calculator, and keeps my calendar. I have never paid for internet or anything like that on it and people actually give me weird looks when I tell them it was a 5 dollar go phone and not an expensive smart phone. I have a bulky iPod Classic, a gift for Christmas, that just plays music. I know that is shocking coming from an Apple product. I have a Dell laptop, same one for 4 years, with nothing but standard stock options on it and only upgraded yearly to keep it in running condition. It is my primary internet and paper writing tool as a student. I own a PS3, another Christmas gift, that I rarely use. I own a few games but not really too much into them and I know I can access the internet from it but feel it is not worth the hassle.

I feel that somehow I am comfortable with having a device for each technological need. It is this pseudo-safety valve where I know that if one of them goes out, I can still access the others, something I could not do if I relied solely on a smartphone or “black box” type device. You can call me old-fashioned, behind the times, or a technological hermit. Either way please just call me, texting ain’t cheap, and I’ve got plenty of anytime hours. Joebags signing off.

A Year for the Ages: The Chelsea Year in Review

One cannot put into words how I am feeling right now just hours after the glorious culmination of Chelsea’s 2011-12 season in the triumph of the Champions League Final. The game itself that crowned Chelsea European champions was a microcosm of their season. The opening stages saw a Chelsea team that was knocked back on its heels and forced to fight an uphill battle against a seemingly stronger squad and the hometown advantage of Munich. Slowly but surely though Chelsea kept itself in the game while fending off chance after chance from Bayern. The fight and heart of the team seemed to die in one tragic event as Thomas Mueller put Bayern ahead 1-0 in the 81st minute. The Blues did not quit, as easy as it could have been, and arguably the greatest goal in Chelsea history scored off a corner by Drogba in the 88th minute sent the game into extra time. Another setback threatened to doom Chelsea in extra time as a Drogba foul on Franck Ribery in the box led to an Arjen Robben penalty attempt, but Petr Cech continued his terrific form and saved it. This match was destined for PK’s and it did not disappoint. Chelsea seemingly began the shootout with its back up against the wall as Mata’s opening attempt was saved, but the perseverance of this club would not be blocked as they did not miss another attempt and Cech saved the last two. It only became fitting that Drogba sealed the deal for the Blues and capped arguably the greatest season in Chelsea history. But how did the Blues end up in Munich?

The team entered this season with a combination of hope and confusion. Almost a carbon copy of the 2nd place finishing team from last season and the Double (FA/EPL) winning team from 2 seasons ago arrived in camp, but to another new boss. Italian Carlo Ancelotti had been removed as manager just one season after leading Chelsea to the domestic double in rather surprising and confusing fashion. In his place was the wonder kid from Portugal, the former FC Porto skipper Andre Villas-Boas who had just come off leading his team to an undefeated season that saw them win three trophies. The key to AVB’s hiring, and also Ancelotti’s firing, was that he was supposed to bring in a more aesthetic way of football to the club that owner Roman Abromavich seemed to eternally search for. Now I was initially on board with the hiring of the 33 year old, though still skeptical of the ousting of Ancelotti.

The season started rather slowly as Chelsea seemed to be stuck in the starting blocks, engaging in a scoreless draw with Stoke and needing late winners in successive matches against Norwich City and West Brom. The team never fully seemed to hit its stride and click like it had in past seasons. The team was struggling all around: no width on the offensive end that led to predictable forays into the final third, a backline that seemed to have no unity, and a manager that was struggling to adapt his free-flowing offense to the physical British game. This is not to say that the team was not on track for success; they were still actively battling for the Premiership top 4, in Champions League competition, and advancing in the FA Cup.

Then the wheels came off. AVB never seemed to adapt his style to the Premier League, instead trying to force his style on the league akin to a square peg in circle hole metaphor. There seemed to be a litany of excuses: the game was too physical, the refs were against them, AVB didn’t have the right players for his system. A clash of cultures began around Stamford Bridge, with the Wonder Kid butting heads with the Old Guard. The new style favored by Roman vs. the Old Guard who were the legends of the bridge. There was not going to be a mutually successive ending. The first signs of trouble came in the form of training ground verbal squabbles, where apparently AVB dismissed and berated each player of the club and even banned Nicolas Anelka and Alex from first team football. The rumblings continued when members of the Old Guard like Didier Drogba and specifically Frank Lampard were given lesser roles within the starting lineup and began to voice their doubts and concerns, a movement that almost became a full blown mutiny.

The club still had world class talent, but no unity. The players did not adapt to the style of play and the manager did not adapt to the players. Chelsea had a team of physical, tough-minded veterans who had succeeded in Ancelotti’s “diamond formation” tactics but were not the right fit for AVB’s free-flowing, quick-moving, high-lined style. The team was not competing with the more powerful clubs in the league, struggled to beat or even draw with middle table teams, and only barely beat lower table squads. The team lost any top 4 matchup it had early on in the season, to the likes of Man United, Arsenal, Liverpool, and Man City. Worse enough they were only skating by in the Champions League group stages.

AVB seemed to demand a spending spree in the Winter transfer window to mold the club more in his image, but instead only received 5 signings. He received the midfield maestro he had been searching for in Valencia’s Juan Mata, Centre-back help with Bolton’s Gary Cahill, midfield help from fellow Portuguese international and Liverpool cast out Raul Meireles, and two young Belgian products in Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku.

But nothing seemed to stabilize the squad and following a 2-1 defeat to Man City there was a disturbing string of results: Three straight draws with Wigan, Tottenham, and Fulham. Wins at Aston Villa and Wolves. Then a draw with Swansea, a 3-3 draw with Man United that saw Chelsea up 3-0 at one point, a 2-0 loss to Everton, and an embarrassing 3-1 defeat at Napoli in UCL play. Two weeks later AVB was sacked following a 1-0 defeat to West Brom and Chelsea seemed to be a lost cause on the season.

The reins were now handed to former Chelsea great Robert Di Matteo, as “caretaker manager”. It seems Chelsea would play out the season, disappointing as it was, and blow up the team in the summer while starting over with yet another new manager. Instead Di Matteo mesmerized the masses by performing a “righting of the ship” that will only go down as legendary. He calmed down the inflamed emotions of the Old Guard and disposed of AVB’s 4-3-3 formation and high line. Instead he instituted a 4-2-3-1 that saw Chelsea focus on its defensive roots and trying to control the midfield. The team did not seem to play spectacularly in the Premiership, still not able to climb fully into the top 4 race, but they performed admirably in the Cups. The Blues proved that “parking the bus” is still a useful tactic and used it to create three of the most memorable games in Champions League history.

There are now many questions concerning this team heading into the offseason; questions that may cut the celebrating short. The biggest issue that needs to be addressed is who will be in charge? Di Matteo is still “the caretaker” and even though he performed the closest thing to a miracle possible, the job is still not secure. The big fish is lurking in the form of Pep Guardiola, a tantalizing pick for Roman since he has been trying to find someone to mimic Barcelona’s style for years. What better way than to hire the man who instituted the system? The next issue is that of the roster. Does the Old Guard have one more great season in them or is it time to infuse the youth movement? Didier Drogba has apparently already ushered himself out and it will be interesting to see who is brought in over the summer as possible heir apparents to players or even replacements.

Those are questions that can be answered in due time, but for now each Chelsea fan needs to enjoy the moment. This is a time of extreme enjoyment and excitement around Stamford Bridge and a time to be thankful for the wonderful season we enjoyed watching and the tremendous effort put forth by our heroes on the pitch. It may not have been easy along the way, but as a fan I would not have had it any other way. The rough and unclear path just made it that much more enjoyable when Didier slammed the penalty home and relieved the stress/tension of Blues fans around the world.

Tales from the Friend Zone

I was engaging in conversation with a fine looking female friend the other day when I inquired if she would like to go out for a drink. Now I meant it innocently, thinking we could just continue our lively discussion at another place. She took it though as an invitation for a date, to which she replied “Honestly Joey, you are intellectually intriguing but just not physically.” It was on that note that I realized once again I was meeting up with an old enemy, the friend zone. For those of you who know the pains of the friend zone, it is a hellish encampment that I probably would not wish on my worst enemies. For those unaware of this place, it is one of lost dreams and false hopes where a woman/girl dooms a man she analyzes as just a friend. Usually the man/boy dreams of greener pastures where he is dating this fine female but instead she “friend zones” him and he is relegated to servitude in hopes of one day breaking free. If you’ve ever been told “Let’s just be friends” then you are in this boat and welcome aboard, I will be your captain as we sail through depressing memories and fond recollections of denials.

It was after the conversation I spoke of earlier that I began to analyze my history with the friend zone, and to my dismay discovered that it has kicked my ass. I have a long and troubling history with the friend zone that dates back to grade school when I held the coat of my crush and her friends at the 8th grade dance (clothes hanger is just one of the many skills you will develop in the friend zone). It was with a heavy heart, and some Bud Lights mixed in there somewhere, that I compiled the “greatest hits” from my times in the friend zone. Please enjoy the “tales from the friend zone.”

Stated earlier, my earliest recollection of the friend zone was my impersonation of a coat rack in 8th grade. Once I got to high school though, the friend zone became more treacherous and entertaining to a degree. Females became more aware of their power over us boys, and we were helpless to their charm……..yeah, charm. I can remember being heavily interested in this fellow bowler we will call Megan. I became close friends with Megan, but try as I might I was always relegated to the friend zone. There I was forced to listen to her constant complaints of how worthless and horrible her boyfriend was but how she couldn’t leave him, guys please stop me if you’ve heard that one before (I see most hands raised in the room). But on the often instance that they would break up for a few days I would be called into service as de facto watchdog as she went out on dates with other guys, in essence I was a glorious third wheel. The most inspiring tale from this year was a trip to Stonybrook movie theaters where she arrived with her date but quickly grew tired of him, to the point where she did not want to drive him home. Well guess who came to the rescue and drove him across town, running out of gas soon after dropping him off. That would be this guy, and what might you ask was my reward? A thank you text and a promise to never let it happen again. This was the same female who turned down my senior prom offer to go bowl in a tournament. Ignorance and stupidity reign supreme in the friend zone.

One of my next encounters came in the form of a casual friend, one I never really pursued and actually became quite complacent with being placed in the friend zone. What elevated this situation to pure hellish status was that she was secretly dating two of my friends, with neither of them being aware of it. I became her confidant on the matter and in true friend zone fashion was always willing to discuss it at any time, even being awoken at 3 in the morning. She ultimately could not decide on either one, so she wanted to dump both, a fine decision in my book. But she could “not bring herself” to tell them, so instead she begged and pleaded me to call them and inform them. After 2 hours of nagging and begging I ultimately caved in and placed those morose calls to the unsuspecting gentlemen. Willpower is not a trait of the friend zone.

That was not the only time I was ever asked to mislead or end a man’s quest of a female. I became quite infatuated with another female my senior year, who we will call Becky. Becky had a couple of ill-suited suitors, each well above her age bracket and quite creepy when thoughts even drifted to a possible relationship. She could not bring herself to turn them down, so I was implored to handle the situation in a CIA-style with numerous sabotage attempts. I was given the green light to do whatever was necessary to end their pursuits of her. Attempts included mentioning she was a lesbian, she only liked younger men, and that she was currently involved, all blatant lies. My reward was her accepting my offer to senior prom, but only after 3 weeks of asking/begging. We had a wonderful time and it ended at 3 am when I dropped her off at her house (ok, I can’t lie, prom sucked and I have no great stories from it).

The worst friend zone story I ever can tell though is that of a girl I will call Mary. She was my pursuit between Megan and Becky. I thought I had a realistic shot for once but instead received the cruelest treatment. We would talk for hours online and on the phone, me being supremely encouraged that a female would want to engage in conversation with me for that long. I became alerted though when conversation would ultimately come back to a mutual friend we will call Jerome. Mary would often ask about Jerome, his likes and dislikes and such of that nature, and I never put it all together that Mary was using me for information. That was until I got up the nerve to ask her out and she blatantly told me that I stood no chance and she was asking out Jerome that night.

Other chart-topping hits of the friend zone included staying up to tutor someone until 5 am the morning of my 8 am final when her’s was not the next day until 3 pm. Playing bodyguard for your chosen female and her group of friends is also a characteristic trait of a friend zoner and I have often been employed in this role at parties and public gathering like a trip to Churchill Downs. The friend zoner is the warm shoulder where she will complain about her horrible boyfriend and you will nod attentively and listen carefully because you just appreciate the sound of their voice. My favorite is the “utility club” where the guy becomes a chair, rain-deflecting device, or whatever is needed to shield his girl friend from mother nature.

The friend zone is where pure ambitions and innocent love goes to die. It is an eternal resting place for the nice guy who was not enough of a douchebag to catch the eye of female he covets. Instead of quitting his pursuit, the guy hopelessly continues with thoughts of “maybe once she dumps him” or “she’ll come around someday.” It is a place of blind ignorance, shattered hopes, and diabolical devotion. A place where you cannot rescue yourself with quitting, as only the female has the power to successfully set you free. It was the friend zone that killed any motivation I had for a social life, as countless re-entries into it finally convinced me to quit trying altogether. Now I know there are success stories out there, and I congratulate those men on their perseverance, but you will not find any of those stories here. If there is anything you take from this article, it is to buy the next friend zoner you encounter a beer, because God only knows how many he has already bought the girl he is accompanying.

Joebags

The All-EPL team

A tremendous and exciting English Premier League season has come to an end and it is time to step back and congratulate those few great players on their excellent seasons.

(Running a 4-4-2)

Forwards:

Robin Van Persie (Arsenal)= The Dutchman was the steadying force in a tremendously rocky season for the Gunners. He led the Premiership in goals at 30 on the season and was arguably the most in form striker in the world, when one takes into account the defensive intensity of the Premiership.

Sergio Aguero (Man City)= Aguero was the consistent scoring presence that helped lead Man City to their first league title in over 40 years. He tallied 23 goals on the season but more importantly was a rock on the frontline that saw constant changing in partners from Edin Dzeko, Mario Balotelli, and Carlos Tevez.

Midfielders:

Yohan Cabaye (Newcastle)= The French playmaker was pivotal in the Newcastle resurgence that almost saw them qualify for the Champions League. Cabaye was a versatile player for the Magpies in midfield, starting on both sides and even centrally while contributing 6 assists and several goals.

Juan Mata (Chelsea)= The argument can be made that if the Spanish playmaker had not arrived during the winter transfer window that Chelsea would not have been the same team at the end of this year. The Spaniard provided width and a nice playmaking touch that saw him tie for 2nd in the Premiership with 13 assists though he did not arrive in London until a 1/4 of the season was over.

Clint Dempsey (Fulham)= The Texan from Craven Cottage experienced his best season of form so far in a breakout year. Dempsey netted 17 times this season, his highest tally in the Premiership and was a constant scoring presence for the cottagers.

David Silva (Man City)= The maestro of the Man City attack led the Premiership with 15 assists this season and drew praise as on the most on form midfielders in the world earlier this season.

Back Line:

Ashley Cole (Chelsea)= The English left-back struggled with form earlier this season but came on quite strong at the end, providing a strong, experienced force on the Blues blackline that propelled them to double trophy triumph and his astonishing 5th FA cup title as a player.

Laurent Koscielny (Arsenal)= The French centre back was a consistent and reliable part of the Gunners backline that struggled with form and injuries early in the season but like his team, he steadied the ship and helped lead the team to a 3rd place finish.

Vincent Kompany (Man City)= Not much more can be said about the Belgian who captained Man City to the Premiership title and led one of the stingiest defenses in the league.

Patrice Evra (Manchester United)= Just another routine year for the French wing back in assisting Man United to a 2nd place finish. Few top the Frenchman in overall play as a wing back with the combination of defense and coming forward.

Goalkeeper:

Joe Hart (Man City)= Led the Premier league in clean sheets and it is hard to vote against the starting keeper on the Champion team.